I spent the last month visiting my family and working on my sister's wedding. She wanted a lot of stuff DIY.... which turned more into "make your sister do it."
I did manage to sneak away to VanCon (a Supernatural convention for those who don't know) while I was there.
Here's the run down of my crafting and assistance:
Most of a day carving a stamp.
Canned some homemade jam. Topped it with the stamped fabric. I also made the chalk signs and wrote the various instructions for multiple tables.
Days and days of set up. I also sewed the table runners and hand dyed the napkins and runners to match. I then wrapped forks in said napkins and tied them with a little bow. Oh and I was in charge of flowers so I worked on all the table pieces, boutonnieres, corsages, and a bit on the bouquet.
I also spent time making ribbon garlands and hanging them all around the farm.
(When that was done I flew with to Minnesota where my sister's new in-laws live for a reception.
It's been a busy month.)
For VanCon I cosplayed Abaddon.
I hand painted the shirt since I was too cheap to buy a proper one. I'm actually rather proud.
And my favorite photo op with Osric Chau, who also enjoys a good cosplay.
Oh, sorry. After two weekends at a Ren Faire I'm even more inclined to yell that all around.
SO. With the help of my beautiful friend I sewed my FIRST ever dress! Taadaa! The corset was necessary though as I couldn't get the stupid waist to fit right. The shoulders were also a bit tight, and the darts for the chest were terrible. Happily the corset hid almost all of those flaws.
The same beautiful friend made the leather hip bag that I sported on both trips to the fair. It was her birthday gift to me and I'm not going to lie. It kicks ass.
But yay! First time at a Ren Faire! In my youth I had a terrible old woman tell me how I shouldn't go to faires unless I wanted to offend people by not being historically accurate or using the wrong fabrics. As an impressionable 13 year old at the time I took her at her word. It wasn't until my friend bought us tickets and demanded I attend that I gave in. Well, you know what? MOST FUN EVER.
Never have I had so much positive attention in my life! Men were free and honest with their compliments. Women ranged from historical, to stunning, to whimsical, and everyone was there to have fun. We attended on opening weekend and were given free tickets to return again the following week.
Not having a lot of accessories or brilliant costuming I went with some super henna.
By comparison my friend was royalty.
She MADE her dress. I mean, just, WHAT?
Not expecting to receive tickets to return we rushed about to make me another quick outfit. She had another dress in her closet from previous years ready to go, but I had to scramble a bit. This was the result.
Fairly classic wench. However, I looked a little mismatched walking next to this gorgeous lady.
Yeah. She made that dress too.
I made this though!
I realized after the first trip that I needed more storage to carry around a water bottle and snacks. I whipped this up and hung it off my belt for the day. It matched quite nicely!
The Ren Faire was magical and helped me to feel both confident and beautiful, two of my weakest subjects. However, I'm a little addicted now and want to go back. I found a rather perfect image of this on pinterest.
It's funny how easy it is to forget where you're going. I'm not talking about when you enter a room and forget what you went in there for, sure I do that all the time, but in this case I'm talking about the steps I've taken towards this whole big life thing.
I'm a bit of a hermit. There, I said it. But I travel more in my head and into other worlds than I will ever have the ability to do in reality. I live in worlds populated by snarky characters and outlandish plots through books, TV, and my own brain.
Yet lately I've fallen off the wagon. I've been obsessing about things like what I eat, the way I look, the impression I give to others, the job I work to make myself feel useful... why the fuck do I care about those? Seriously? I've spent the entirety of this new year unabashedly devoting myself to trying to reshape who I am. Um. Why the hell am I doing that?
Reasons. 1) I gained some weight and feel self conscious. 2) I'm in a long exposure therapy program to get over some PTSD crap. 3) I'm going through a chakra training for yoga.
All of that has come together to make me question what I'm doing. I thought if I got my body in order things would fall into place. Maybe if I stopped running from my mental issues and faced them things would clear up and the sun would always shine. And maybe, just maybe, I'm supposed to be a really incredible yoga teacher and change lives.
Or maybe that's all bullshit.
You know what reminded me most of all what I want to do? The god of profanity; Patrick Rothfuss. Have you read his books? Amazing, right? Have you met him? I had the pleasure to see him speak last summer at PAX in Seattle and I'm pretty sure he changed my life. I practically stalked him all day. I had never even HEARD of the guy until we walked into his panel. I went out, bought his book, had him sign it, and took a picture with him.
Then I got back to life at home and forgot about the magic I felt when I heard him speak. I've been wrapped up in all these expectations and trying to please other people that I've forgotten what it's like to be me. In so many ways I've lost who I am, and that pisses me off!
You want to know who I am? Who I REALLY am?
1) I'm the cutest damn person you'll ever meet. Talk to me for 15 minutes and tell me I'm not adorable. Seriously. We've decided this is my super power and I'm looking for ways to use it in the name of evil.
2) I have an incredibly sassy internal monologue going at all times. However, if you speak to me I will most likely do the whole deer-in-the-headlights thing and say something stupid. Example: Other person. "Have a nice flight!" Me: "You too! Oh, well you're not actually flying, but.." Other person: walked away long ago.
3) I love swearing, and I do so a lot when I get excited about something. I relate swearing with humor and fun because in my life it was never used in anger or fear. Only when an extra drink had been consumed and someone was feeling good.
4) I think I'm a really good person, except when it comes to money. I will give you my time, skills, and half the stuff I own before I will give you money. Otherwise I volunteer, give people free yoga, and help friends and family in just about any way I can... as long as it doesn't cost money. I also hate asking for money. Really I just hate everything with money other than when it can buy me shiny things.
5) Yup, you guessed it. I'm a huge geek/nerd/dork. My terminology differs depending on the day, but I have an obsessive nature and fan girl quickly. I also think I'm funnier than I really am (which is why I'm really glad my husband gets my humor).
6) I rotate through my weird hobbies/skills. Right now I'm back into doing my own henna. As you know I also love to crochet, though it comes and goes. I also draw, occasionally paint, sometimes I make jewelry, I bake, write, read, fix stuff, organize, clean, sew, sing... there's more, but the point is I do a lot of stuff, and I do it all pretty well. I'm not particularly GREAT at any one thing, but damn if I can't do a bit of everything. (If you're thinking "but you're great at making amigurumi!" I can assure you that while I may excel at nerdy creatures don't even begin to ask me to make clothing. It's not pretty.)
7) I want to write.
#7 is why I cam here today. This is where the story comes full circle. You know what I really want to do? What I want to dedicate my life to? I want to be an author. Being a yoga instructor is brilliant, and I do love my work, but it doesn't make my heart sing like writing does. I have so many weird little stories tucked away in my head that I want to share. So when I remembered my time in Seattle yesterday I tweeted a little thanks to my heroes of inspiration (Pat Rothfuss and Shanna Germain). Then they wrote back. In those brief sentences I remembered why I loved writing. I'm introverted, I fall too easily into the damsel in distress role, and I seem to be unable to stand up and speak for myself, but here on the page I can say whatever I want.
THIS IS ME.
Suck it world. I'm going to find a way to be great and make up for all the crap I've gone through.